I wanted to come up with a solution for Madison Long. She would be locked up for a long time after the events that unraveled on October 31, 1994. I knew that the weight of power landed on my shoulders; I had to get it right.
After I was contacted this morning regarding Madison’s suicide, I knew I had to come clean, which is precisely why I decided to post on here.
What follows is a transcript of the therapy session conducted between Mrs. Long and I, 24 years ago. I’m sharing this for a few reasons: 1. I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. You tend to look at right and wrong from a different light when you are on your death bed. 2. To finally clear Madison’s name. That poor woman was innocent. 3. If there is a God, I’d like to think that I might be spared if I get this off my chest now.
A few things you should know before you dive in. Madison and her husband, Pat, were in an unhappy marriage. He had been coming to see me once a week for the past year to work on some issues after finding out his wife was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was a struggle for him to say the least. Her delusions and control issues were spiraling out of control, and so was their marriage.
About three months prior to the events that took place, (July 1994) I had started to conduct marriage counseling between the two of them. I began to unravel a deeper understanding of Madison’s triggers, and Pat was able to open up to his wife for the first time in years. They seemed to be doing fine. We were making progress. Then, out of the blue, their two children, six year old Brandon and four year old Amanda, were found dead.
November 7th, 1994
Dr. Kane: Hi, Madison. It is a pleasure to see you again, but I’m sorry for the circumstance.
Madison: Thank you for taking some time out of your day to work with me. Nobody has been listening to me.
Dr. Kane: I’m going to listen to you. I want to get this settled.
Madison: Thank you.
Dr. Kane: I want you to tell me your whole story with as much detail as possible, Madison. The more details I have to work with, the easier it will be for me to help you with your case. Let’s start from the beginning.
Madison: Ok. Yeah, sure.
Dr. Kane: What did you do with your family on the morning of October 31, 1994?
Madison: Well, it was Halloween. My husband and I thought it would be fun to take our kids to the pumpkin patch. It was a family tradition.
Dr. Kane: That’s a great tradition to have.
Madison: Yeah, it is – or, was. My husband was going to help Brandon carve his first jack-o-lantern; he was, you know, excited about it.
Dr. Kane: Did you and your husband get into any sort of fight that morning?
Madison: No, everything was fine between me, him, and the kids.
Dr. Kane: Ok. Was your husband as enthusiastic about this trip as you?
Madison: Yes! He was all into it. My husband loved doing stuff as a family. He adored Brandon and Amanda.
Dr. Kane: Ok. Were the kids behaving the whole time?
Madison: Kids misbehave sometimes, but not this day. They were on their best behavior.
(Note: Madison became visibly shaken. Her hands were scrunching at her dress as she sat in the chair staring down at her knees.)
Dr. Kane: Lets fast forward to when you got home.
Madison: Amanda started whining to get into her costume.
Dr. Kane: That must have irritated you. I know how you like things done your way at a certain time…
Madison: No! I was excited to see her in her pink tutu.
Dr. Kane: Madison, are you okay?
Madison: I’m sorry, the memories are starting to come back.
Dr. Kane: We can save the rest of our session for tomorrow?
Madison: No. I need to get my story out there now, today. I need your help.
Dr. Kane: Ok, go ahead and continue.
Madison: Um ok, so after that, my husband got out the pumpkin carving kit.
Dr. Kane: Was it hard to let go of control on this day? From our previous sessions, you have told me that you want things followed the way you envisioned them down to the last detail.
Madison: N-no. Nothing like that, at all.
Dr. Kane: I’m going to have to disagree. You seem agitated when I mention it.
Madison: I tried so hard to keep those kids safe. Any parent would. There was nothing odd about my behavior that day. I just want the judges to understand the type of parent I was. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I had control issues, but I would never hurt my kids.
Dr. Kane: Mhmm…
(Note: Madison took a few seconds to compose herself before continuing our session.)
Madison: I told the kids that they needed to hurry or else they’d miss trick-or-treating. I saw Brandon and his farther looked so sweet working so hard on this jack-o-lantern.
(Madison requested to take a five-minute break at this point in our session. She became too upset at the memories of that night.)
Dr. Kane: Ok, we can continue right where you left off once you are ready.
Madison: Ok, I’m ready.
Dr. Kane: I’m listening.
Madison: I heard a loud pop sound, and peered back around into the kitchen to see what was going on. Brandon was rolling on the floor laughing. Apparently, my husband was stabbing the pumpkin. So, I walked over and dug the knife in real good to show them who was boss.
Dr. Kane: Now, that seems odd to me. Why were you pretending to stab a pumpkin?
Madison: Well, it wasn’t like that.
Dr. Kane: Did it make everyone uncomfortable?
Madison: Do you want to hear the rest of the story, or do you want to focus on a slight detail that doesn’t even really matter?
Dr. Kane: Every detail will matter in the eyes of the court. I’m just trying to help you, Madison.
(My comments made Madison uncomfortable. Now she was sitting straight up in the chair at attention.)
Madison: Five minutes later, we had a spooky Jack-o-Lantern looking back at us.
Dr. Kane: That sounds like a good memory to have.
Madison: You would think. Except, that is a bad memory. It’s awful for me to even bring it up right now.
Dr. Kane: Why is that?
Madison: Because, that is when everything began to go so wrong.
Dr. Kane: Ok, what do you mean by that?
Madison: I heard a hard knock at the door. I thought it was just trick-or-treaters. My husband and the kids had already left the house. You know, it was odd because there wasn’t anyone at the door when I opened it. I even stepped out on the front porch and searched around, maybe this was a “trick” being played on me by the neighborhood kids? I waited a second, but no kids emerged in my sight, so I went back inside and shut the door.
Dr. Kane: What do you think happened in that moment?
Madison: I think something came into the house.
Dr. Kane: Who, Madison?
Madison: I… I don’t know.
Dr. Kane: Was it a person?
Madison: No, I think something sinister came in that I couldn’t see. I don’t know what, but I know things began to change once I opened that door.
Dr. Kane: Ok, what happened right after that?
Dr. Kane: Madison. Madison! Are you okay? Madison…
Madison: Stupid, stupid me! Stupid, stupid me! Stupid, stupid me!
(Madison repeated this phrase while rocking back and forth in her chair for a solid 60 seconds. I was finally able to snap her out of it. We took an hour break while she ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.)
Dr. Kane: Well, I’m glad we took that break. I was starving. Do you feel better after having a bite to eat?
Madison: Yes, sorry about that.
Dr. Kane: No need to apologize. We are going to dig up some deep feelings today. They aren’t going to be easy to talk about, but it is crucial that I hear every detail of what happened that night in order to help you. Do you understand?
Dr. Kane: Ok, let’s continue right where you left off.
Madison: After they left, I kept feeling his odd presence in the house. I knew I was alone, but I felt like someone was watching me. I know this sounds crazy to you.
Dr. Kane: I don’t think you are crazy. I’m just trying to fully understand.
Madison: There was an evil presence in my house.
Dr. Kane: Ok. Can you tell me what exactly was happening in that moment to make you think that?
Madison: Do you believe in ghosts?
Dr. Kane: I guess you could say that.
Madison: You either believe in ghosts, or you don’t. If you say no, then you wouldn’t understand.
Dr. Kane: Ok, I believe.
Madison: There was something evil in my home. Something that wanted to do harm to my family. I just had this gut feeling, that’s the only way I know how to describe it.
Dr. Kane: Ok.
Madison: Yes, so you get it? You get what I’m trying to say?
Dr. Kane: Did you ever think that perhaps you were just getting into the Halloween spirit?
Dr. Kane: Was anything out of place?
Madison: We had so many trick-or-treaters. Most of my night was spent walking back and forth to the front door. I was so distracted, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you if anything was out of place that night.
(Note: Madison is raising her voice with the story.)
Dr. Kane: Was there any other odd behavior by anyone that came to the door that night?
Madison: That night we had nearly a dozen trick-or-treaters. Some had masks on, some had face paint on. Even if they were acting odd, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it. It was Halloween night Dr. Kane.
Dr. Kane: Of course. Lets go back to the odd feeling in the house. Do you think that evil presence made you act…out of the norm?
Madison: No…maybe just a little paranoid.
Dr. Kane: Ok, do you think your imagination was making it seem as if someone was in the house?
Madison: Look, I know what I felt. Even if my imagine was doing that, you can’t chalk up what happened the rest of the night to my imagination.
(We took another 10-minute break.)
Dr. Kane: Tell me what happened when your kids came home.
Madison: That’s the hardest part to get through.
Dr. Kane: I understand it’s hard to talk about. Take as much time as you need.
Madison: I could see the kids running up the driveway. Amanda twirled a lollipop between her fingers and begged for a few bites of candy before bed.
Dr. Kane: Did you let them have some of the candy?
Madison: Of course, but I noticed that Brandon hadn’t made a peep the whole time.
Dr. Kane: Tell me about that.
Madison: My heart was crushed when I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. I asked him what was wrong.
Dr. Kane: What did he say?
Madison: He wouldn’t say. He was scared to tell me.
Dr. Kane: Ok, continue.
Madison: This confirmed my odd feeling. I knew something was in the house. Something was controlling his mind.
Dr. Kane: You didn’t go upstairs to check?
Madison: No, I was honestly scared too. I thought if I went upstairs to check, the thing would start controlling my mind. Who knows what would have happened if I let that happen.
Dr. Kane: Did your husband pick up on any of this?
Madison: If he did, he didn’t say anything about it.
Dr. Kane: That answer seems odd to me. Wouldn’t you mention the way you were feeling to your husband, at least?
Madison: All I’m saying is that I don’t know what he was thinking at the time.
Dr. Kane: Ok. What happened once you all went inside?
Madison: We all four cuddled on the couch, shared candy, and watched Hocus Pocus. It was a great Halloween night, but every ten minutes Brandon’s eyes would wander off. I patted him on the back and reassured him that he was safe. To not let the evil presence control his mind.
Dr. Kane: Did your husband hear you say that to him?
Madison: No. I whispered it in his ear.
Dr. Kane: Have you been taking your medication, Madison?
Madison: No. It makes me feel like a zombie. I don’t need it.
(I made a note of this.)
Dr. Kane: Ok. Let’s continue.
Madison: My husband and I were exhausted. Um. After that, I went to bed.
Dr. Kane: Let’s get straight to the last hour of that night.
Madison: Right, so I awoke in the middle of the night with a certain stillness in the house that gave me goose bumps. Call it motherly instincts or intuition, either way, I knew something wasn’t right. I got up to check on the kids. I headed to Brandon’s bedroom. What I saw in his bedroom nearly knocked me to my knees.
(We had to take another hour-long break. Madison proceeded to have a full-on panic attack.)
Dr. Kane: Ok, Madison. You are doing such a great job. I’m taking notes on everything you have told me so far, and I’m going to make sure you get help. I just need to know in your words, what happened?
Madison: He was lifeless. His little body still and purple. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I knew in my gut that he was dead.
Dr. Kane: Ok. What did you do once you realized that Brandon was in the bed not moving?
Madison: I was frantic. I tried to wake him up. He wouldn’t move. That’s when I called for my husband. At first, he didn’t believe me, but as soon as he saw Brandon he called 911.
Dr. Kane: Ok, and then what did your husband do next?
Madison: My husband immediately got in the car.
Dr. Kane: The police said you had waited awhile before yelling for Pat. Why would you wait so long?
Madison: (crying) I don’t know. Maybe my grief made me lose track of time. I can’t tell you because I don’t know.
Dr. Kane: There are people saying you killed your babies.
Madison: That’s not true! They are liars! I would never!
Dr. Kane: And you haven’t mentioned checking on Amanda. Wouldn’t you want to check on her immediately, or did you already know that she was dead as well?
Madison: I can’t believe this. You don’t believe me, do you?
Dr. Kane: Now is your chance to tell me what you did, Madison.
Madison: I have told you everything. There is nothing else to say. I’m done.
Dr. Kane: It will be easier for you if you admit it.
Madison: Has Brandon woken up yet?
Dr. Kane: No, Madison. Both of your kids are deceased.
Madison: What about Amanda?
Dr. Kane: Did you hear what I said, Madison?
Madison: Please. Please….
Dr. Kane: I’m sorry Madison.
Dr. Kane: I am going to make sure you get the help you need.
Note: Madison has had a history of psychotic episodes. After working with her for the past three months, and in addition to this therapy session, I have concluded that Madison had an induced psychotic episode due to the unstructured event of Halloween. I think she got confused with evil entities tormenting her children. In my professional opinion, I believe that Madison Long killed both of her children while in a psychotic episode.
My notes were enough to convince the judge that Madison was having a psychotic episode and killed her kids that night. She received a plead on insanity, but has been locked up ever since. Pat was devastated to lose his kids, and beyond shocked that his wife was the one to do it. They had been making progress, he didn’t understand what would make her snap like that. Luckily, I was there to comfort him.
You see, Pat and Madison were unhappy in their marriage. Yes, Pat had come to me for therapy at first…but then we fell in love. Our one hour session once a week turned into more of a psychical thing verses a professional thing.
Once I saw that they were doing better, I became jealous. He had even told me that we were done, that he wanted to really work on his marriage and give it a fair chance. I just couldn’t have that. I wanted Pat for myself.
There was nothing sinister or ghostly that snuck into their house that night.
It was me.
I hid in the bushes, and as soon as Madison came outside looking for trick-or-treaters, I ran inside the house and hid upstairs. It was the perfect night to get away with something like this. I knew the house would be empty and that Madison would be alone. I knew she would be occupied with trick-or-treaters, and I knew that the kids would be exhausted when they got home. I hid upstairs until they were tucked in bed.
Once everyone was asleep, I popped out of the closet and put a pillow over Brandon’s face. It honestly didn’t take long, then I went to Amanda’s room. She was smaller, so it was easier to get the job done.
I was still hiding in the closet when Madison came into the room. I knew I had to sneak out as soon as possible. I couldn’t risk Pat seeing me. Sure enough, they frantically grabbed the kids and rushed off in their car to the hospital. This gave me plenty of time to sneak out the back door.
My problems were solved. No kids. No wife. I had Pat to myself, and well, we were finally able to be together.
I’m on my death bed now. Do I regret what I did? Not really. I lived a long happy life with Pat. Now, back to the important question. If I don’t regret this, then why am I finally sharing this information? Well, like I said. Madison was innocent, so I think her name should at least be cleared. I’m also scared of death. I’m scared of what’s in store for me. Is there a heaven or a hell? Will I rot in eternity for what I did?
Perhaps Madison is waiting for me on the other side. Perhaps she will be looking down from heaven as I burn away in the pits of torment forever. Will that be justice? Two innocent lives were taken by my hands. You know, maybe I’m the crazy one. Maybe I’m the one who needed to be locked up for insanity.
What is the definition of crazy anyway? Does our society have it all wrong? Maybe, we need to re-evaluate the definition. Maybe we need to take a closer look at mental health.
I’m sure I’ll be deceased before anyone in my personal life comes across this confession, but for those who are reading this, tell me – did you also think Madison was guilty from the initial schizophrenia diagnosis? I know most did. That’s how I got away with this.